Slurring Shatner quotes does not make you a star ship captain. No need to buy the uniform on a drunken shopping spree.
This is what happens when you shop for clothes while drinking alone with the cat.
It doesn’t make so much sense when you’re sober does it?
Just remember, you may have the munchies now, but you will probably be sober when the giant bag of cereal marshmallows gets delivered.
Now that you’re clear headed, do you really want this hanging on your wall?
You may look cool to other high people while wearing this.
The sober ladies you hit on will not think this is funny.
Handerpants were funny, until you woke up with a hangover and underwear on your hands.
Strawberry Jell-O shots can really fire up your imagination.
You’re dog is probably not a big a fan of Jurassic Park as you are.
And do you really want to eat your breakfast on these placemats with a hangover?
You should probably stop watching Cars while drunk when this gets delivered to your door.
All your party guests seem to be a bit one dimensional…
Steve Buscemi does not actually make a good fashion statement, please don’t put him on your ears.
So you can walk around the mall while drinking discretely, that’s seemed like a god idea while you were still drunk anyway.
It’s not so inspirational when you sober up.
Maybe you and all your friends will enjoy playing this game while inebriated.
You’re a jackass while drunk, not a stud.
This Cheshire Cat mannequin will scare the shit out of you when you wake up hung over.
For all those lonely nights you spend drinking alone. Or at least you will be drinking alone when your friends see these on your couch.
This taxidermied squirrel is not intimidating enough to keep people out of your liquor cabinet.
This real Kangaroo scrotum keychain does not prove to your buddies that you “have the balls.”
No matter how drunk you are, the 90s are not coming back.
You are going to get real tired of hot dogs after having a toaster that cooks nothing but hot dogs for a while.
That drunken Freddy Mercury karaoke party may have inspired this purchase.
You must be really high to spend your money on literally nothing.
Lady GaGa is quite an inspiration to drunk fashion!
When you’re so drunk that you think you may have found the real Dragon Balls for sale online…