17 Naughty Historical Facts You Won’t Learn In School

1. Anne Frank was very curious about her lady parts and discussed masturbation and menstruation quite a bit in her original writings.

The version of her diary that’s published and read in schools today is highly edited, leaving out almost all of her entries about self-exploration.

2. U.S. President Warren Harding wrote over a thousand pages of erotic correspondence to his mistress of 15 years, Carrie Phillips.

Highlights include an invitation to get “sopping wet” at Lake Superior and multiple references to his “friend” Jerry (aka his penis).

3. Some historians say that during the the Battle of Agincourt English archers marched (and possibly fought) with their pants around their ankles.

Dysentery was very common in those times, and with their trousers already down soldiers could relieve their “troubled bowels” without having to stop and pop a squat.

4. For hundreds of years, royal women in Europe gave birth in front of spectators.

“It was a big custom among the French royalty—poor Marie Antoinette was almost killed by the great crush of people who poured into her bedchamber at Versailles when the doctor shouted that the baby was coming,” explains MentalFloss.

5. Confessional booths were built by the church not for privacy, but to prevent the priests from having sex with young women who came to confession.

The problem was known as “solicitation” and if finally forced the church to decree that “that women should be heard only through the gratings of closed confessionals, or of open stalls in the body of the churches, or in chapels open and well lighted.”

6. Catherine the Great a secret sex salon full of furniture decorated with dicks, spreadeagled legs, and female mouths giving head, all tastefully embellished with gold leaf.

The room was a secret for decades until Soviet soldiers discovered it during WWII.

7. Ancient Romans used a plant called Silphium as a natural contraceptive. It was so valuable that a picture of the plant (right) and its seed (left) were planted on silver coins.

 Historians theorize that the shape of the silphium seed pod is where our modern “heart” symbol came from.

8. The first public screening of a projected motion picture for occurred on December 28, 1895. In less than a year, the earliest pornographic movie – Le Coucher de la Mariée – was released.

9. Mozart wrote a canon called “Leck Mich im Arsch” which translates to “lick me in the ass.” It was just one of several dirty pieces he wrote in his lifetime.

Sung by six voices as a three-part round, it is thought to be a party piece for his friends.

10. Gandhi conducted bizarre “chastity experiments” during which young boys and girls bathed and slept together but were punished for any sexual talk or activity.

He would also sleep and bathe with his personal assistant, but claimed it was not indecent because he kept his eyes shut.

11. Jean-Jacques Rousseau (a Genevan philosopher, writer, and composer of the 18th century) was so obsessed with the idea of being spanked that he was known for pulling his pants down in the road and chasing women around with his pale ass.

Rousseau admitted his obsession with erotic spanking in his autobiography, the aptly named Confessions.

12. During the Nazi occupation of Norway, resistance fighters infiltrated sardine packing plants and filled the cans with croton oil, a very powerful laxative.

These spiked sardines were then dutifully handed over to the Germans and sent to the U-boat crews (who undoubtedly had a very bad time).

13. On September 7, 1642, Thomas Granger became the first sentenced to death in (what would become) the United States. His crime? “Buggery with a mare, a cow, two goats, divers sheepe, two calves, and a turkey.”

“Divers” means “many” and “buggery” means “having sex with.” Yeah, I think it’s safe to say the barnyard animals of Plymouth Plantation breathed a collective sigh of relief that day.

14. At one point during his presidency, Lyndon B. Johnson met with a reporter who repeatedly asked him why American troops were in Vietnam. Frustrated, Johnson unzipped his pants, pulled out his “substantial organ” and shouted “This is why!”

The incident was recorded by biographer Robert Dallek. Apparently the reporter finally stopped asking after that.

15. A horny female was once considered to be suffering from “hysteria” and treatment consisted of a handjob by a medical doctor.

The service was in such high demand (as you might expect) that doctors feared for the safety of their wrists. TL;DR this why the vibrator was invented.

16. In Ireland, during the Iron Age, the inauguration ceremony of a new leader involved the High-King-to-be publicly engaging in copulation with a white mare, which was then eaten.

One of the most widespread of Celtic goddesses is the horse goddess Epona. By joining with the horse goddess, it was believed that the ruler would be mated to the land he was sworn to protect.

17. When Wales became a part of the UK, Welsh people noticed that the punishment having sex with a sheep (finger cut off) was less severe than stealing a sheep (hand cut off).

So people caught stealing a sheep would often say they were just fucking it to save their hands. This skewed the crime statistics in an interesting direction, and forever pegged the Welsh as sheep shaggers.

Via: Distractify

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